Juergensen Family Blog

I just dropped all three girls at summer camp, which marks the beginning of a new era of everyone going to school at the same time! Given that they are only two blocks away and it is only for four hours, it was a great moment rather than a sad one. Adding to my readiness was the early wake-up at 6:30 am (typical wake-up is 8:00am), and a week of family vacation, aka childcare on the beach. I diligently packed lunches, which is not my favorite activity in the world, to say the least.

Enough for now – I’ve got to get to work!

I don’t know when the phase started, but everyone has started saying “I love you” a lot, even Sabrina who is the last hold-out. It seemed to coincide with Mary, our original nanny, returning and it may just be coincidence but she certainly does have a positive effect. The best part of all is putting Zoe to bed. When I ask for a hug, a kiss or an “I love you”, she says “all three” and gives me them all. It is such a wonderful feeling, which more than offsets all her talk about growing up to be 14 or 16. (Yikes – my girls are going to grow up!) They have been saying it to each other a lot too, and sometimes to both Mommy and Daddy. I hope it keeps up.

Today was a really nice Zoe day. She seems to be having more and more of them, with the tears in the day becoming minimal. This morning she walked to church with Kate as usual, while I carried Sabrina. (Zoe and Kate definitely have a bond either from red hair or liking the same activities, or gene similarities in general.) But on the way home, she and Sabrina held hands walking, and Zoe said “I’m so happy Sabrina is walking” and told her “I love you”. Later they took a bath together. It was nice to see the bonding.

The best part of the day though was a moment with Mommy, when we were talking in the car in the parking lot waiting for Kate and Sabrina to wake up. I was telling her about when she was a baby, and she thanked me for a compliment, and then said “I love you” unprompted. It was very touching and made my day!

We had our parent-teacher conference last Friday with Miss Noelle, and it was probably the only time in our lives that all three girls have the same teacher. It was quite a relief to find out that all three girls are doing well in school. Apparently Zoe hasn’t thrown a tantrum since the first day of school. Her language was described as good, since she uses tenses and pronouns correctly most of the time. Of the twins, Sabrina was the quickest to adapt to school which was the opposite of what we would have guessed. In the beginning they both sat near the doll cribs watching what was going on, whether it was their solo day or combined day.

What a relief!

Kate has taken to saying this and I must admit I love it. I’m not sure what she means by it, or what her definitions are, but it sounds nice. Recently we were reading an animal book and she said “that’s a pretty anteater”, and later “that’s a pretty octopus”. She sounds so earnest saying it and you just have to laugh and return the compliment. Sometimes she even says it in public – maybe she knows I could use a pick-me-up.

It’s official (at least to me) that I am in a parenting rut. Last Monday our playdate was semi-awful, but it did highlight that I’ve become numb to crying. Zoe wasn’t sharing, Sabrina was cranky, and then Kate fell off a low chest in the play area. A few minutes passed after picking her up to comfort her, and I asked why everyone was cranky. My friend had to suggest that maybe she was hurt. Yikes – why didn’t I think of that. It’s just that the cry sounded like every other cry that seemingly goes on all day. (Keep in mind, school was out for holiday break at the time of the playdate.) As if I needed more evidence, at the end of the playdate my friend’s 9-month old girl was crying when she was put into the car seat, as my friend was gathering her belongings. It took me a few minutes before I realized I could actually do something about it, by entertaining her with the jack-in-the-box she had been playing with. In the past if I heard a crying baby I sprang into action, but now it was if I didn’t even hear it.

I used to have the philosophy that if my girls were happy, then I’m happy. But then I realized – heh, sometimes I want to be happy even if they’re not happy. Call it survival instinct, to be rather dramatic, or maybe just the desire to decouple our linked emotions. I think that’s when the ability to shut out the crying started, and it does have some benefits, though numbness is an unfortunate side effect. Now, what to do about it?

At last I’m writing about something other than the kids. 2009 was mostly a rough year for the business, which is not surprising given that forecasting services are not in high demand when new stores aren’t being opened. Then everything started to turn in 4th quarter, starting with a prospect that had been in contract mode for over a year and ending with a really major QSR client. On December 31, a picturesque snow fell in the morning and the FedEx truck pulled up with its crisp red and purple logo. It brought the signed contract for the major new client. The moment was wonderful – it was the feeling of a new beginning for the business. It reminded me of one of my favorite movies – Bowfinger, when the FedEx truck arrives at the end of the movie and Steve Martin’s character knows he has made it. Incidentally, the other favorite part of that movie is “Keep it Together”, which could have been my mantra for earlier part of the year.

This was our first Christmas that felt like what we always though Christmas with kids would be like. In previous years, they didn’t really get the concept – the twins because they were only 1, and Zoe because, well, she’s Zoe. This year, though, boy did they get it. John woke up with the twins and spent a little time hanging out in the living room while Deb and Zoe slept on. A little while longer, Zoe comes down; she sees the pile of presents under the tree, her eyes get as wide as saucers and she yells “let’s open presents!!!” So John tells her that we can’t open presents without Mommy, and Zoe almost takes the stairs two at a time in her eagerness to get Mom downstairs.

Then the wrapping paper carnage begins. ALL of them start flying into gifts. The idea of “let’s take turns” turns out to be completely unenforceable. Fights break out when one girl wants to open another girls presents. Candy cane stickiness is everywhere, and we both nearly break a leg tripping over some freshly opened diabolically underfoot toy. And all day Zoe is running around telling everyone “Happy Merry Christmas!!!”

Like I say, what I always thought Christmas with kids would be like.

I wrote the following in late May when I was in Las Vegas for a trade show, but like most things, didn’t get around to posting it until now. It seems it should be included in the blog, as it is part of the story of the first year of having 3 kids. Here it is:

Today I am in Las Vegas and really enjoying the rest and relaxation. I didn’t fully realize how much I needed the break until I got on the plane yesterday and my mind went into a foggy-like lethargic state. It was kind of like what allergy medicine (the good kind) does, but I hadn’t taken any. I attributed it to the lack of good sleep the night before – a mere 4.5 hours – and thought nothing of it until I woke up today in the same state.

It has been a relaxing two days, and there are two more to go. Last night I slept 10 hours elapsed – a few wake-ups, but no major insomnia. It was wonderful. I am enjoying not having to do anything but get myself over to the trade show at the correct time. Thre freedom to wander as I please without thinking about anything but whether this is what I want to be doing is liberating. Yesterday I ate in the diner and had a salad that was mediocre at best. I forgot how much I love salads, and was wondering why I don’t eat them more often when I suddenly remembered the answer – that there is no time to make them and no time to eat them, and I rarely have the ability to go out to eat. This morning I went to the pool and laid in the sun for an hour or so. The only thoughts running through my head were pool or no pool, do I like this song or not, should I have lunch or skip it. It is truly a vacation for the mind.

If it sounds like I would be happy in a life without kids, it isn’t so. Life would be so empty to me and the simple pleasures I am describing would not measure up to the love of my three daughters (or at least two of them at any given moment.) But having three little ones means days are all about keeping the calm, with most minutes from morning to night driven by their needs, their schedules and their moods. Everything I choose to do from going to the bathroom to possibly running an errand requires quick mental calculations of whether the new state is worth the crying that occurs when I leave the room, if anyone is in a position to harm anyone else, logistical considerations of how to bring everyone along, or time calculations of what everyone’s upcoming needs will be in terms of feedings and diapers. It is mentally exhausting.

Here in Las Vegas I am enjoying only having to take care of myself. It is no wonder my mind is in a coma-like state – it has no idea what to do with the void. Fortunately it has figured out that it is time to enjoy the rest & relaxation!

Kate and Sabrina turn 4-months old today, and it is time for a long overdue update.

First and foremost, both Kate and Sabrina are happy, calm, and generally pretty easy babies. The smiles and coos started around 2 months, and have continued and increased in frequency. They are a wonderful way to start and end each day. Sometimes it amazes me how easy it is to get them to smile – usually just smiling at them is enough. Sabrina does a classic coo sound with an occasional shriek of delight, while Kate’s almost sounds like she wants to talk.

Just in time for the 4-month birthday, they started consistently sleeping through the night! This week was our first week of 8+ hour nights for both babies, which included one night of double 11’s. (I always equate twins sleep to a roll of the dice, because previously there was little consistency.) Kate had her first 9-hour night before she was 1 month old, and Sabrina did 7 hours soon after, but consistency has been elusive, and without consistency the feeling of fatigue and even desperation was always around. Fortunately that is now coming to an end.

This week we are transitioning to a diet of formula, from a combination of breast milk and formula. Cereal will be in a few months, and then the fun will really begin. So far Sabrina is the superior eater – she can polish off an 8 oz bottle with ease, with a slow-but-steady wins the race pace. Kate gets famished but peters out very quickly. I think she also prefers formula and since most meals are breast milk, she tires rather quickly. At night she often decides sleep is superior to a bottle, and crashes early, which is quite a change from a few months ago when she was the night owl. Perhaps it is the end of football season that did it.

On milestones, Sabrina officially rolled over a week ago, after a few weeks of close calls where she couldn’t get her arm and should loose. Kate also shows interest in rolling, but is much happier pumping her legs. She will be a runner or a soccer player. (Update: Kate rolled over two weeks later, but still lacks interest to do it much.) Kate definitely has the superior grip, and gets very excited when some of her favorite toys are within reach.

Now that they are past the 4-month mark, we’ve brought out the Exersaucer which allows them to be upright looking at toys. Sabrina immediately did a half-rotation, while Kate started gripping the letter E. We also brought out the Jumperoo and Kate seems to like being upright. Both girls are getting tired of being in the bouncers and are making motions to try to sit up. We can’t wait for the sitting but not yet mobile stage!

Big sister Zoe showers love on them, mostly in the form of kisses. She can say both Kate and Sabrina (or at least Sabina), which is quite an accomplishment since she is not yet saying Daddy. Kate is usually receptive to the kisses and any form of attention from Zoe. Sabrina sometimes looks fearful, which is not without cause. Zoe sometimes gets a little aggressive, as would be expected of a toddler.

All in all we’re having a wonderful time.