Juergensen Family Blog

It seems strange to say, but 2-3 may be my favorite year for Zoe. It is not that she has skipped the terrible twos, but somehow I relate to them which makes them not so bad. Plus her new ability to talk has been really fun, and is a positive offset to the tantrums and intense frustration. Here are the new developments:

• “Orange flowers are so pretty”. It wasn’t her first sentence (”It’s cold out”), but it was my favorite because it has it all – adjectives, colors, observational skills, and a positive outlook. It caught me by surprise, and I stopped to think, why yes they are.

• Zoe loves to sing, mostly her Backyardigans songs. This produces many entertaining moments when she’s singing “I am a sultan” or “Questing, questing, questing” or “Steer baby steer.” I forgot how much fun singing can be.
• In the car, when we stopped for even a second she’d say “wanna get going”, but I have retrained her to say “stop at the red light.” It’s amazing what a difference this makes for me, because one is impatient while the other shows respect for the law.
• We go to the playground quite regularly now – almost any day with nice weather and enough time in it. One of the first days we went, Zoe was so excited to find stairs – it was almost as if the entire purpose of the playground was just to provide new stairs for her to go up and down. Another favorite activity is walking the path looking for the next bench. I have definitely learned that Zoe gets my cautious genes. One day at the playground it took her an hour and a half before she worked up the nerve to go down a slide. When it finally happened it was such a joyous moment for me because I felt like everything was going to be okay, i.e. she was going to be able to function like a “normal” kid in this world. (To anyone who has seen the movie “Parenthood”, it was just like when Steve Martin’s son catches the ball.) Fortunately a few weeks later she decided she also liked the swings, after seeing her baby sisters having fun on them.
• This summer Zoe went to summer camp, and the first day I was in tears leaving her realizing that my little girl was growing up. At first she clung to me intensely, but by the second week she was joining the other kids voluntarily. The third day I showed up a little early to pick her up and was told she hadn’t started eating yet, because she always waits until the other kids finish before starting. (See previous paragraph on being a “normal” kid.) Fortunately I was told Thursday of the first week was a break-through day because she started talking, singing, and eating with other kids. Later she’d come out and say “fun at summner camp” and “friends at summer camp”, which made me feel like things were okay.
• Later in the summer I took her to Sesame Place for a mother-daughter outing, without the babies. The day didn’t go quite as planned. Zoe was fearful of the carousel, and when it started moving I had to restrain her to keep her on the bench. We tried a few times later in the day and worked up to her sitting on the bench alone while I rode the horse. She seemed to like the shows but would spend much of her time walking up and down the stairs rather than watching them. For lunch she licked ketchup off the french fries without eating them. I was starting to feel that the day was a bust, especially when she rejected the water attractions most of the day, aside from jumping in the puddles left by them. Knowing how much Zoe likes water, at 5:00 I decided I was going to go in the wading pool, even if she stood by and watched. Sure enough, she ventured in after me and we had a magical hour of fun as she went running through water, held my hand to go through the water tunnel again and again, and lounged on the water seats in the sun. That fun hour made the entire day!

Okay, there are some rough spots:

• Zoe’s temper can be incredible. She gets so frustrated when things don’t work the way she expects or wants them to. She also insists on doing some things by herself (strapping herself into chairs, closing doors, putting on her shorts, etc.) and any attempt to do them for her can trigger a tantrum.

• Zoe is too aggressive towards her baby sisters. It seemed that once they started crawling, she no longer gave them the cute baby treatment and kisses. Now they can crawl over to Daddy when he comes home, just like her and she no longer has run of the house.

• Zoe is a picky eater, but recently peas have become a favorite which is a welcome change from Life cereal.

Yes there are difficult times, but the ability to reason with her seems to outweigh these. Not that she listens to reason, but it makes me feel better to offer it up. Part of the reason things seem okay is that I kind of relate to things she is going through – who hasn’t been so frustrated they want to break down? And who among us wants their mother to dress them every day? The only thing I really don’t relate to is the mean spiritedness towards her sisters, who generally adore her. In fairness, sometimes she likes to “make them laugh.”